My beautiful sister-in-law Julie was married yesterday. Wow, what a day! It was so beautiful, so emotional, so fantastic! I know I'm going to use the word 'beautiful' a lot in this post, because it is the perfect word...so consider yourself warned! Of course, this post will be from my perspective, John will have to post his own, although I don't think his would differ significantly.
Julie has blossomed over the past few years. She has evolved (and continues to evolve) into a fantastic woman. Her strength, character, and steadfastness in her ideals make me very proud of her. She is fearless - - not in the the literal 'lacking fear' sense, but in the sense of 'plowing through' fear - - to always do what is "right" for her. I sincerely admire her for that. Still, she has always managed to maintain a very hip, "youthful" attitude, in her dress, in her ideals, her creativity, in her psyche. And in some ways, it has always helped me think of her as "the little sister". Even though we have great, insightful, very open and honest conversations, in the back of my mind, she was still a little sister. Well, all that changed for me yesterday.
I snuck into the bridal room about an hour before the wedding, so I could be a part of the pre-wedding rituals. There was the usual busy-ness, the photographers lurking about, waiting to catch that "first moment", my mom-in-law, looking happily nervous, everyone just trying to stay out of the way while the female half of the bridal party were preparing for the event. I stepped into the entrance of the dressing area, and saw Julie, her back to me, surrounded by her friends. In an almost dreamlike, magical way, the friends parted and Julie slowly turned to face me. She was glowing. She was so beautiful. Our eyes met and we couldn't speak! It was such an intense, incredible moment! Even now, just writing about it now, my eyes are filled with tears! We both got teary-eyed, and we both almost lost it, so I turned around and left. I didn't want her to ruin her make-up! I had intended on giving her a pre-wedding hug, but I think that moment was even more meaningful, more spiritual, and no physical contact was necessary!
The rest of the day continued to be magical, emotional, stunning...just perfect, like every wedding should be! The day was gorgeous, the setting was incredible, the wedding ceremony was personal, and touching, and meaningful! John and his brother, Jess, escorted her down the aisle and gave her away. I will never forget how they looked as they started their journey. They are great people, all three of them, and I am so proud to be a part of their family. Miles, the groom, was beautiful, too. I had been watching him closely, especially during the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, and at one point, I turned to John and whispered to him "Look at Miles. Can't you just feel what he is feeling?" and John agreed. There was such a calmness, and happiness, and pure acceptance (for lack of a better word), although satisfaction might be more accurate. He looked like someone who was right where he wanted to be...calm, confident, and in the moment.
I was very honored to be a participant in the ceremony. I did the second reading, the poem "i carry your heart with me" by e e cummings. I prepared for the reading by marking my copy with pauses and the words I wanted accented, and I started off great, but near the end of the poem, just as I was reading "here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life...)", I looked over at John and our eyes locked and I was quite overwhelmed with emotion that I got a little choked up, but I managed to squeak it out. That's the magical thing about weddings, they can transport you right back to your own wedding day and fill you with the intensity of love you felt on that day, the terror and the exhileration and the pure adrenaline and the PASSION of it all! And, most of all, you are transported back to the pure innocence of two people standing together and making a public declaration, without the full knowledge of the breadth of what lies ahead - - the true beginning of an unknown journey.
I already adore Miles' family. His parents, his siblings, they are already a part of our family, which John also expressed during his toast.
I can't even begin to describe Julie's gown. It was so gorgeous, and she looked so incredibly womanly -- mature, confident, and radiant. Yes! Radiant is a perfect adjective! By the end of the evening, I had a few moments to talk with her, and I told her what I was feeling. I said, "I hope this doesn't offend you..." (which is always a great way to preface a sentence), but I finished with, "...but I want you to know that I've come to realize that you are an equal now." She understood what I meant (thankfully). She's not just the LITTLE sister any more, she's a woman, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, an artist, she's all wrapped up in a complex, multi-faceted package, just like me. And, as motherly as I have always felt about this girl, I imagine I will have the same type of revelation if/when my own girls are married.
Our kids had a great time at the wedding. I realized these events are so few-and-far between, which makes them so precious. The girls were all dolled up, and passed out programs to guests. The boys were so handsome in their dress shirts and ties. They had a great time, and I didn't have to worry about entertaining them or keeping them busy. The boys were polite and personable, and Zack in particular was happy to get to know John's Uncle Bob, who came all the way from Pennsylvania! It was his first time meeting Uncle Bob and Aunt Eileen. Dinner was fabulous, and Jess did a great job emcee'ing the reception. John had to leave early for his play, but he just missed the cake and dancing. It was harder for him to leave than he expected it to be. The ceremony itself was special, thanks to Denny. He did a great job, and we were happy to have him officiate. It makes it so much more meaningful when the officiant actually knows the couple! Miles' family did a great job making the event special...opening their home, their talents, and being so gracious and cooperative! The "valet" service alone was above and beyond generous, and yet was undertaken with such enthusiasm and joy! What a selfless family they seem to be, and I admire them for that.
So, now their journey begins. I commented to Dylan, in front of Nancy, that we wouldn't be having any more weddings until he (or his siblings) get married. That gave us all something to think about. These are the moments that give you pause, to examine the spectrum of life's most important relationships. And I am thankful that they shared their very special day with us. And, I am thrilled at the prospect of being this much closer to becoming an aunt!
